 Review By: Siou Choy |
Developer: | 49Games |
| Publisher: | Conspiracy Entertainment | |
| Genre: | Sports | |
| ESRB: | Everyone | |
| # Of Players: | 1-4 | |
| Online Play: | No | |
| Accessories: | Nunchuk | |
| Buy Now: |   |
Ahh…the Summer Olympics. It’s hard to believe that they only take place every four years, isn’t it? Of course, given the quality and interest level (or lack thereof) of certain events falling under that overall categorization, perhaps it’s better that the Summer Olympics only occur quadrennially. The same unwelcome recurrences are reflected likewise in Summer Athletics: The Ultimate Challenge. Conspiracy Entertainment apparently wasn’t able to secure the legal right to establish itself as official Summer Olympics merchandising, but a rose by any other name is still a rose, as the Bard once wrote, and branding can only carry a game so far. What ultimately matters, despite decades of business and retail models pointing to the contrary, is the actual content of the game. And when measured by that standard, Summer Athletics: The Ultimate Challenge fails to even earn a spot on the podium.
Summer Athletics has you competing in most track and field events and a few pool events of the Summer Olympic games. For whatever reason, most of the truly memorable and enjoyable events of the games, gymnastics and volleyball for instance, are strangely missing. But in their place, you do get shotput... (for the uninitiated, sarcasm drips venomously in that last statement).
There are 26 events in which to compete. You have the option of choosing specific events or attempting “to become the ultimate athlete” by competing in decathlon, “Short Competition”, “Summer Athletics” (comprised of 19 events) or “Platinum Challenge”, which is to say each and every event in the game. There’s also the option of the “Higher, Faster, Further Cup”, which subset encompasses each of the throwing events, or you can create your own randomized list of events you can choose to take part in – as if that were any different from, say, choosing specific events. Yes, folks, we’re dealing with pure gaming development genius here. (drip...drip)
As if that weren’t enough to encourage the prospective gamer to pull in the reins and change course for as far a distance from this masterful display of Next Gen technology as humanly possible, consider this. Those brave and intrepid enough to take on the challenge of this fantastic game should consider themselves forewarned: you’re totally on your own. And I don’t mean by making that statement that I won’t be lending you tacit moral support. No, I mean Conspiracy left you high and dry. You see, the instructions provided with the game are, to say the very least, not exactly good ones. It will, in all likelihood, take the intrepid gamer several tries before he or she can even figure out what they’re supposed to be doing in each respective event. Seriously. Starting a race in swimming, for example, is an entirely different process and set of commands/actions than, say, starting the race in the 100M dash. And I mean different as in no relation whatsoever. It’s like 26 different developers pitched poorly designed mini-games for an anthology of such. Ladies and gentlemen of Conspiracy, please turn in your license to create at the door. A more suitable career in landscaping or janitorial services awaits.
Posted: 2009-02-22 13:51:28 PST